Rizz Rant: Super Smash Karts 8!

Being the only one of the writers to have obtained both a Wii U AND a copy of Mario Kart 8, when the new DLC packs were “leaked” earlier in the week, there was a part of me that was excited and then there was a part of me that was even more excited than I should be.

Knowing the awesomeness that comes in random DLCs like this, I started to think back and then I came up with the same answer that Guest Rizz DJ Lunchbox had on Boss Battle this past Tuesday: Why did it take so long?

Why are we just now getting the Super Smash/Mario Kart cross overs now? The two games have been mainstays for Nintendo since the glory days of the Nintendo 64 and each one got better and better and better, yet no one over in Nintendo thought of this? No one? Not even you, Reggie?!

For shame!

To gain business, one must do crossovers like this (see: Scorpion in Injustice) to get people’s attention. THAT’S WHY SUPER SMASH BROS. WORKS, PEOPLE! In this current game, you’re going to have Mega Man v. Pac Man v. Sonic v. Little Mac. That’s Capcom v. Namco v. SEGA v. Nintendo. Four of the biggest companies are NOW in YOUR GAME! Cross branding helps people buy your game.

FINALLY, though, Mario Kart and Nintendo is seeing their ways and know that Pink Metal Peach or driving a Mercedes through Rainbow Road. NOW YOU CAN PLAY AS LINK AND GET MORE EXCITED FOR THAT HYRULE WARRIORS GAME THAT’S GOING TO BE PRETTY DAMN GOOD TOO! MORE MONEY FOR NINTENDO!

However, it begs the question why did they stop it at Link and the Villagers (which sounds like an awesome Doo Wop band)? Kirby unavailable? Little Mac? You could throw him on an actual speedy bike that you don’t have to constantly press a button to move. Falcon? Star Fox? Pikachu? Get the whole gang out there! GO CRAZY!

YEAH! LIKE THAT!

Also if the rumors were true, I would have rather seen Dr. Mario and Nurse Peach in this game instead of Tanooki Mario and Peach in a kitty costume, I have just spoiled someone’s weird Dr. Mario fetish so I am going to stop right there before I have to look up Dr. Mario fan fiction. OR throw a curve and give us Metal Wario or Metal Waluigi.

So…what kept Nintendo this long to cross-promote on another game, like they did with Smash Brothers? Who would you like to see in the game? Leave it in the comments below.